Day Care Nightmares

It's official.  I tried to warn everyone about my inability to keep up with any blogs I ever start.  Granted, I am doing way better than before.  At least I didn't wait 8 months to make a post this time.  I know it's no excuse, but I have been extremely busy getting into the groove of a 40 hour work week, and balancing housework, family, and friends in between.

With all of that being said, I have many reasons for this post.  First, I want to share this adorable picture of my baby on her first (and last) day of daycare.

Cutie pie!

When I stared working, she was staying with a sitter in the daytime.  I love these ladies that keep her.  They were clean, loved my daughter, and she never cried when I left because she felt comfortable.  However, the sitter is having a grandbaby coming soon and she wanted to be able to focus on the new baby (which I totally understand).  My Mom searched for a sitter, but it came down to it and day care was the only option...at the time.  So, as hesitant as I was about the whole idea, we went and looked at it and everything seemed fine.  I felt at ease about something being more dependable.  She would learn colors and numbers, and be able to make lots of new friends.  I inform the day care of her food restrictions and her eczema before she started, and I had to have a doctor sign a release form for all of these "limitations" (ugh!).  Monday morning was like any other morning: milk, breakfast, clothes change, hugs and kisses.  She was happy.  We walked into the day care and she clinched my neck pretty tight.  I hold her until I explain everything to the ladies, triple checking that they understand what I need them to.  Then, I sit her down and she starts to play, so I walk out the door.  Immediately, she starts to scream (loudly and painfully).  I didn't leave the outside of the door until she would calm down, and she wasn't calming down.  I walk back into the room, and console her.  (She never acts this way at the sitter--ever! Not even when she was new to the sitters!) I sit down to play with her and tell her how I have to go to work but I will be back and she will have a fun day with all of her new friends.  She warmed up and she told me "bye bye," and so I felt a little better. 

On the way to work, I boohooed.  It wasn't that I have a hard time going to work and leaving her with someone (at least not after the first few days), it was leaving her in a place that didn't feel exactly right for her.  I calmed myself down with thoughts of dependability, decent prices, lots of friends and learning.  So, I worry the entire day but find myself so engrossed in my classes that my day really did go by super fast.  I had them doing a million things, so I would keep my mind busy.  

4oclock came and it was the most exciting part of my day.  The only part of this past Monday that was relatively happy for me.  I go get her from daycare, and it was my worst day care nightmare unfolding.  All of those worries and fears I had while reading their guidelines was now living proof.  For starters, her little room smells of pee--which I think is completely gross, and they could at least bleach it, right!?  I then see that her diaper is sagging to her knees (well, it was really close to her knees).  I kindly ask the lady if they change diapers here: sarcastically and concerned.  She replied, "there are certain times of the day we change them, unless they dirty their diaper." Assuming, a poop.  Immediately, I was furious.  I explained to them that she will have eczema breakouts if they don't remove the pee diaper/poop diaper as quickly as they can.  I then asked her if they followed my instructions to put desitin on her with every diaper change and she said "No, we weren't aware." The morning teacher obviously didn't tell the evening teacher, and then she replied with, "We discourage that because of regulations...blah blah blah." Seriously? That's neglect.  I then see that Harper has a purple spot on her nose, so I do the whole lick-the-thumb Momma bear clean of the nose, and it doesn't come off.  I'm thinking "oh my gosh, it's a bruise, she's broken her nose." I inquire about the issue, and they said they don't know anything.  WHAT? You haven't been watching her. Did she fall? Did you paint? I mean, COME ON! They are really racking up at this point, and my nerves are already shot.  She was filthy, her lunch was still on her face.  All it takes is the swipe of a wipey to get the food off.  She has sensitive skin, so of course, her face was now red from irritation. AND, her head was sunburned. 

So, I leave in an uproar. . .I had even broken out in hives.  We get home, I pick out a change of clothes, and go to change her diaper.  There's still dried POOP on the top of her butt, and in her lady parts.  OH. MY. GOSH. ARE YOU JOKING!? She screams as I try to clean her, so I decide to put her in the bath.  She refused to sit down in the tub for me to try and get her clean.  I force her against her will to let me clean the poop off.  At this point, she's just in pain.  I get her out of the tub, and give her some medicine for the inflammation.  

I call my mother in a real rage.  I inform her that I will never step foot back inside that day care to leave my daughter ever again.  I will take a day off of work and I will make a schedule for the next few weeks, and then figure another option out.  I was so upset, I cried and cried for hours.  While I held her, because they only lay them down for nap at a certain time of day, and she's still at the age where she needs two solid naps.  I just hold her and tell her I'll make it ok.  Basically, I felt as though I had failed her as a mother.  I felt awful.  My heart was broken, and I had let her down.  I think she was happy playing, but I just thought it was dirty. 

My Mom calls me back a little later and confirms my choice to not return to the day care.  I just refused. "Lets just see how another day goes." NO.  My mind was made up, I would not be a good mother if I sent her back.  So, my Mom calls me again and confirms of a lady who is wonderful, and will start to keep her the third week in September.  Mom had already called the recent sitter and asked if Harper could return until the other sitter can start watching her.  It was a miracle, God was watching over my baby.  

I dropped her off the next morning with Sherrie, and she hugs her neck tight.  She says, "hidy!" The light was in her eyes, she was warmhearted, and felt loved.  I cried a little, thanking Sherrie for loving my daughter and helping me out.  She said she missed her anyway. : ) My daughter wasn't just another number to them.  It was such a relief.  When I told her I had to go to work, she said, "Bye bye love you"! 

I boohooed all the way to work, tears of joy... I had made the right decision for my daughter.  I thanked God for peace in the situation, and clarity.  I will never trust that day care ever again.  And before I ever make a fast and rash decision to put her in a different day care ever again, I will ask for a trial day.  

She's happier, I'm happier, her sitters are happy to enjoy my sweet baby every day!

Lesson learned...